I occassionally mention the fact that I had Gastric Bypass Surgery (Roux En Y to be specific).

It was not Stomach Stapling as people often try to refer to it. Stomach Stapling is a completely different old procedure from Roux En Y Gastric Bypass. With Stomach Stapling a patients stomach was sectioned off by a row of staples to reduce stomach capacity and trigger a feeling of fullness in the patient. All food eaten passes from the new small chamber of the stomach into the still attached and functioning larger section of the stomach and all other parts of the digestive system remained the same. Stomach Stapling works much like the adjustable gastric banding (AKA Lap-Band) except it was thought that it would be permanent but was not.

With Roux En Y - my stomach was bisected into two parts (cut in half and stapled shut into a tiny pouch and the larger section is not active in my digestion process at all - it's been relocated to the other side of my gut) and my small intestines were shortened and rerouted to trigger malabsorption of calories and nutrients. My new stomach was originally reduced from over 1 quart down to 30 ccs. After a few months it was expected that the stomach would gradual stretch to be able to accommodate at least 3 to 4 ounces of food at one time. However, patients still can only absorb a portion of the calories consumed. And because of the bypassing of a large portion of the small intestines some patients cannot consume natural or refined sugars or fat or certain fibrous vegetables without becoming suddenly and violently ill.

Anyway, the bonus side of the surgery I had is significant sustained weight loss. Some people think that people who had Gastric Bypass Surgery are making rash, uneducated and vain choices, nothing could be further from the truth. Yes being slimmer is a bonus perk of losing a significant portion of your body weight but it is a double edge sword - with incredibly weight loss comes unrequested and undesired attention to only your physical appearance. Once again it puts the formerly obese person, like myself, back in the position of receiving unwanted stares and attention. The bigger reason that people have the surgery is for their physical and mental health (improved self-esteem - or being able to separate your self-esteem from other people's opinions of your physical appearance). Also, some people like myself have it to aid in our abilities to control and maintain our weight loss long-term.

I could drop 60 pounds in two months whenever I wanted but I could not get my body to maintain that weight loss. I have been described by my physician as an exercise anorexic. I over-exercised to try to compensate for eating anything. I have always done this even when I was 330 pounds. Unlike the lame-ass comments I see many here in this site make, I ate healthy unprocessed foods but I overate those foods. I wasn't gorging myself on Cheetos, Doritos, hot dogs etc those foods were not part of my diet and hadn't been since I was a slim teenager. No, I binged on baked chicken, lean steaks, raw and steamed vegetables (especially veggies - broccoli, carrots, potatoes, salads I figured well its "Healthy" its okay to eat enough for a family of four), starches like rice and pasta, and homemade sweets. I occasional would have a couple of slices of pizza from a favorite place "Blondie's" here in SF or have a hamburger or two but primarily I just over ate the healthy foods I was cooking for myself.

Not every obese person who overeats eats junk food or fatty foods. It's overeating of ANY FOOD STUFF that's bad. It's not okay to binge on a two pound bag of salad greens and think that that is better than someone who eats a 6 ounce bag of Lays. Bingeing is bingeing regardless of the food consumed. If you cannot burn off those excess calories from the two pounds of salad than your body sees it just the same as eating a candy bar.

Anyway, people often rail against Gastric Bypass Surgery and the people who opt to have this surgery. As I have said before if you're obese you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Obese and overweight people know what I am talking about- there is no end to the amount of unrequested judgments and unsolicited advice that people will give you when you start to try to lose weight via dietary changes and exercise. Some wiseass will always say that you "fat" person aren't doing it right or that the way you're going about it is too dangerous or will only cause you to fail. But if you don't diet then you get slammed for not trying something, anything to lose weight. Again, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Often there is no real support from friends or family only judgments from those who stand to be left behind if you radically change or those who stand to be able to laud it over you if you fail. They want to be right about your attempt to change they do not want you to prove them wrong. And so many people from whom this surgery is not necessary or even an option are so quick to slam those for whom it could potentially be a lifesaving measure. Seriously those people need to get of the uneducated high-horses and mind their own business. You don't care to listen to obese people, you have no desire to truly devote the time and energy to help and listen to that obese person so you have no say in what method they choose to use to resolve THEIR PERSONAL HEALTH ISSUE.

Well, I thought for those suggesting and seeing Gastric Bypass Surgery as some evil, destructive thing - I think you need to understand the mindset and realities of those of us who have reached the point where this surgery is "our decision to change our lives" and why anyone who rails against it will fail and be shown to be an uneducated negative-nellie. People who say Gastric Bypass is wrong do not understand the surgery or its purpose and they most of all have no understanding what-so-ever of the individuals who've come to the point in their lives where this surgery offers a chance at normalcy.

Just as I can not understand who choose to have gender reassignment surgery because I cannot get inside their heads or bodies and feel the struggles that they've had - you cannot get inside my head or body and feel the struggles that I had to endure before deciding to have this surgery.

One more thing - to my fellow overweight or obese strugglers ( I still consider myself part of this group regardless of my weight loss) - I do not believe that this surgery is an option for every obese person. This surgery is a tool and not everyone can successful work this tool and not everyone should be expected to just because it achieves results. This surgery is a personal decision that has to be made carefully and with much meditation by each individual. Luckily no one can force you to have this surgery and no one should ever try to force you to because they will not have to live with the personal sacrifices the surgery requires. Some morbidly obese people can lose weight without ever having this surgery and maintain the results for the long-haul but there are those of us whose bodies work against us to defeat all efforts at sustained weight loss. For us this surgery offers a tool to try to defeat our body chemistry and win for the long-term. Do not let anyone push you toward the surgery if you have decided that it is not for you. And if you have decided to have the surgery do not let anyone, not family or friends, dissuade you from exercising your free choice to do so. If people cannot accept your decision either way - they need to step aside and find a new person to victimize.

This is a piece of prose written by an anonymous Gastric Bypass patient to try to explain why they've come to their decision.
Until you can say you completely understand and can feel why these things are true or have experienced even one of the situations described here in all I can say is - KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT and OPEN YOUR EARS and get out of the way.

LISTEN
(Author Unknown)

LISTEN to the embarrassment we encounter in our every day life. The name-calling, stares, rude comments and looks of disgust we endure battling the last acceptable form of discrimination. People we meet that give us a far wider berth than we need when passing us on the street, in the hall; in life. Afraid that somehow our disease of obesity might be contagious.

LISTEN to our apprehension as we expertly eye the chair. Will we break it, or will we fit. Will we ever fit into life, as "normal" people know it?

LISTEN to our agony as we just walk and perform the simple activities of daily living on joints screaming in pain from incredible burden they were never meant to carry.

LISTEN to the pain of our humiliation when ridiculed by a doctor for "allowing" ourselves to get so fat. Realizing even the doctor’s office is not a "safe" place; we tend to neglect our heath even more. Hey doctor, didn’t you take an oath to help?

LISTEN to our hopelessness after being turned down over and over for a job or promotion because we don’t "match the corporate image" of the person they envision for this position.

LISTEN to our guilt. Because of our size, we feel we’ve cheated those we love out of the parent, spouse, child or friend we feel we should have been. Our embarrassment has now become theirs as well.

LISTEN to our anticipation as we eagerly embark on yet another diet. THIS will be the one. This time I WILL SUCCEED!

LISTEN to our frustration as once again we fail at another attempt to lose weight, reinforcing once again our feelings of worthlessness, failure and defeat.

LISTEN to our fear for what life holds if we don’t have this surgery. We try to ignore it, to stuff it down, but when we are brutally honest with ourselves, we realize an early death is an almost certainty.

LISTEN to our indecision as we do extensive research, trying to outweigh the risk of complications (up to and including death) versus the chance of a new life. A chance to improve our health, move without pain, play with our children, the opportunity to just "fit in" to society.

LISTEN to our indecision as we second-guess our decision to have surgery. As we ask ourselves, "Should I try just one more diet?" And tell ourselves, "If I only had more willpower."

LISTEN to us as we eagerly meet with the surgeon, with our five-page, single-spaced, list of questions in hand. Let down by the medical profession in the past, can I really trust this person who looks at me with compassion, as he assures me I’m a "good candidate" and he can help? Please God, I want to believe him, tell me I’m not setting myself up for failure once again.

LISTEN to our feelings of helplessness as we place our future in the hands of an insurance company. Fully aware that with a simple denial letter, all the work we have done to this point, may be pointless. This surgery is not without cost, physical, emotional and monetary.

LISTEN to our joy as we open the long awaited "approval letter" or obtain financing to make this dream a reality.

LISTEN to us as we grasp for a chance at improved health, of moving with ease and just living life as a "normal" person.

LISTEN to our renewed hope of living long enough to see our children grow up, get married, play with grandchildren and grow old alongside our mate.

LISTEN to our fear as we roll into the surgical suite. The sights, the smells, the needles, the faceless people behind the masks. Do you care? Do you understand, or will you too make cracks about my weight once I’m asleep? My life is now in your hands, please take care of me. I have a brand new life ahead of me, and so much to live for.

LISTEN to the sigh of relief as we wake up in pain but alive! Stand up, walk a few steps, cough and deep breathe. Sure nurse, whatever you say, I can handle it because I’m alive!

LISTEN to our delight as the weight starts to drop off, realizing this is for real. We are actually on the loosing side.

LISTEN to our misery as the body we once knew so well, now betrays us with nausea and vomiting when we attempt to eat.

LISTEN to our frustration as we attempt to do something as simple as drinking a glass of water.

LISTEN to our panic at the first plateau or weight gain. As that little voice inside tells us, "Once again I’m a failure."

LISTEN to us relax and let out our breath as we watch the numbers on the scale edge down once again. Plateau over. Renewed hope. Maybe I will make it after all.

LISTEN to our efforts to move as we slowly and painfully attempt to exercise in a body that is still morbidly obese.

LISTEN to our confusion as our emotions wreck havoc with us. Why am I crying? Why do I feel depressed? Why am I mean and snapping at the ones I love? I don’t like this person that has taken over my emotions.

LISTEN to our sense of accomplishment the first time we walk a mile. It rivals the high of any runner completing their first marathon.

LISTEN to our depression when we realize we can no longer soothe our emotions with food. We now have to learn to feel and deal with these emotions.

LISTEN to our tears as we mourn the loss of that brief but satisfying sensation of gratification we once obtained from the "comfort foods" we can no longer have.

LISTEN to our obsession surrounding the scale, vitamins, protein drinks and carb counts, determined not to fail "this time".

LISTEN to our sense of accomplishment as we pass up that calorie laden, high carbohydrate treat, telling ourselves, "My new life is sweeter than any dessert."

LISTEN to our elation as we reach that "century mark" that once seemed so distant, but now is a reality.

LISTEN to our resolve to reach our goals. Moving the weight on the scale down another notch, reaching a new "century" of numbers, wearing the dream outfit and attaining our "goal" weight.

LISTEN to the gratefulness in our hearts as we thank our surgeon for not only their technical skills, but equally important, their understanding and compassion for the morbidly obese. Thank you, doctor, for the opportunity to rejoin society and live life.

LISTEN to our amazement as we come to the realization that "reaching goal" wasn’t the most important thing in life. It was the lessons we earned, the friends we made and the sense of accomplishment we gained along the way.

LISTEN, don’t talk, don’t give advice, don’t judge, just listen. And then, maybe then, you will start to understand the life of a morbidly obese person.